25 August 2009
Once upon a time (yeah it's corny, but applicable) there was a boy and a girl. Yeah, I know you read how we met and fell in love, but now let me tell you how we are still in love after all these years.
We have always been open with each other. We spend time together and make time for each other, and take time to just talk. Our relationship has always been the best! I know that other people have said that they wish they were as happy and in love as Favorite and me. We have had our ups and they seemed as if we would just keep going up (kind of like the stock market or house prices). Well, just like we have all seen those things that we thought would never come crashing down did, and so it seemed with our relationship. Although there was no real danger the voices in my head caused me to doubt that which I had never doubted before. I struggled with the thought that Favorite did not love me anymore and that I might not be good enough for her. I questioned if I really made her happy. Did she really still want to be with me after all these years or would she be happier with someone else. Why would I think that you ask. Well God has blessed me with many things and an over-active imagination is definitely high on the list of things I have. This is a good thing when you tell stories or watch a scary movie, but not always good when you try to live in the real world. I imagined all the bad things that could be happening in my life - I mean the worst things that my imagination could conger up. I latched onto words and dreams that really were due to my over-active imagination. Why would I do this? Partly because I don't lead a normal life...er, what I mean is that I work midnights and my life doesn't revolve the same as most. I am awake all night (sometimes night and day) and I sleep (a little) during the day. When someone is sleep deprived they are not always in their right mind, and I was not in mine. Not by a long shot. The things that were threatening me were in part to my insecurities and part real. The real part I dealt with directly and without remorse, and I slayed the dragon (so to speak). Thus I was able to fight for and protect that which I hold most high, even my favorite. She was in danger, I was in danger, we were in danger. That scared me more than I ever thought possible. The danger was there, it was real, and could easily have become out of control.
I know that Favorite loves me, and she has never said anything that would make me doubt her, or her love for me. So why all the worry you ask? Well Satan is a sneaky little devil. Yeah, he clues in on little things. He works his way into the tiniest of cracks and wiggles and worms his way in. All the while making that tiny crack into a large hole. Sometimes too big to fix. Lucky for me I saw that little devil. I saw him wiggling about, looking for a crack in our armor. He slithered around, but denied that it was anything at all. He snooped and prodded. Made you question what was good in your life. Even made it a little exciting along the way, just to entice you a little more. Reassuring you that what he was doing was OK and there was nothing to worry about, even though you felt in your heart that something wasn't quite right. That's how Satan works.
Now, Heavenly Father sees all. Even before it's going to happen. Sometimes long before. There are things in my life that I am not proud of and made me struggle over time. Those things have made me question my own worthiness. That is another way Satan tries to trick us. Another one of his tactics. He is so jealous that he can't have a body and since we do, he does his best to make us miserable like he is. Yeah he gets jealous and tries to drag us down where he is. Heavenly Father will never take away our agency, and I am grateful for that. He does, on the other hand, place before us options. What we do with them is our choice.
It's been a while since all this excitement began and yet there is the craziness that my mind can create. I worry. I REALLY worry (too much). What about you ask? Well think of something and I probably worry about it. Will it make any difference if I worry or not? Not usually, but I still worry. I used to be care free. I drove fast cars, and I drove them fast. (Really fast - I had the points to prove it.) I did daredevil stunts. Pretty foolish now that I look back, but back then I had nothing to be afraid of. No reason to fear loss. So I pushed the limits. I tried to out-do my friends. I sometimes put others at risk. I used to say "there are no 'what ifs'." I didn't think of the "what ifs" and just pushed forward without regard for the consequences. Now I'm older, and maybe a little wiser, and I worry about the "what ifs". The "what ifs" can take hold of you and make you a slave to them. Pretty soon they rule your way of thought. You constantly worry "what if...." Yeah, and then you loose it. You loose the daredevil inside of you. You loose the thoughts that you're a pretty good guy with a lot that people like and you feel insecure about most everything. You wonder "what if she doesn't love me anymore, what if she would be happier with someone else, what if I don't make her as happy as I once did, what if..." They creep in all around you, and you question everything. But I found something. I found out that I'm OK. I can be fun to be around, I can make Favorite happy, laugh, love, and be glad that she chose me. I don't need to be insecure, because even though I'm a pretty average guy, I'm helpful, loving, handy, willing to talk, willing (and really like) to watch "chick flicks", can make Favorite laugh, and I'm in pretty good shape for being forty-four years old. Favorite loves me. I am the luckiest guy around!
Where is all of this going? Well, don't take things for granted. Make everyday like when you are dating (courting) the one you love. Try to find ways of making your Favorite happy and it will come back to you. Choose to make your life special and look for good all around. Love, trust, make time, and be happy. Oh, and don't worry so much - it really doesn't help at all. In fact you loose touch with reality. Have faith it will all work out - it usually does.
So let me finish the story...
Once upon time there was a boy and a girl that grew up, got married, and they lived happily ever after.....
18 August 2009
Perfect weather for painting! A light breeze, not too hot or humid, and nice sunshine. I did a light sanding, but not too much. (I knew I wanted a distressed look.) It took 2 coats of white (latex interior) paint as a primer to cover the dark color. But I could see it coming together.
A closer up of the top with just the white paint. Glad I invested the time to give it a few coats.
How cute is this? I have this perfect color of paint that I got on clearance at Lowe's for a dollar, a light grayish blue - Love it! I knew it would go really well with the mustard color walls and the red accents in the room, complimenting without disappearing or taking over. After it was dry, I did sand the edges for the distressed look that I really like. (See it on the top left corner?) The picnic basket fits perfectly underneath and a few cute old books on top (one is called "Phunology", ways to have good wholesome fun in mixed company, written in the early 1900s by a pastor!) The table is just what I wanted in there!
I'm not sure, but I may stencil "murphy" on the top just for something to talk about.
12 August 2009
05 August 2009
I am really excited about the "clean their room" plan.
Colin and Liam have a large desk in their room that is covered with stuff (I will try really hard not to call any of their belongings "junk"), under their beds there is stuff, in their closet there is stuff, on top of dressers and books shelves there is stuff and there is stuff generally all over their floor. I do admit, it could be much worse - I don't think there are any food pieces or food wrappers - which is good. And most of their laundry is where it belongs. I try to help them do this super cleaning at least 2-3 times a year, but it is amazing how much can accumulate in such a short time.
There is nothing like walking into this kind of environment with black trash bags in hand, music playing, anxious expressions on the boys' faces. (I have the determined expression.) I just love this kind of project!
The big reason for this task is determining what they have in the way of clothes for fall and what we need to purchase. This is the incentive for Colin and Liam to cooperate in this adventure. When we have wrapped up this herculean project, we get to shop!
I anticipate that it may take 3-4 hours to complete. Colin and Liam are aware of the plan, and are (I'm sure) just as excited as I am. Maybe. But they really do love it when we are done. They keep everything so neat, put everything away right away, and inform all of their friends that it needs to stay that way. And this will last for at least a week.
And they thank me. Really. It is so good to know that even if they don't, at this age, have the continued motivation to keep it clean forever (or at least take on the task of overhauling by themselves) they do appreciate how good it feels to be clutter-free, knowing things are where they belong, and the place looking fabulous. It makes my heart happy.
Perhaps when they are all grown up, they will be the ones with the determined expressions and black trash bags, with their own little sweeties with anxious expressions, bravely embarking on the "clean their room" plan.